Friday, August 13, 2010
Abortion, Venus in Scorpio, Venus/Pluto Relationships
Ah…I’m so sorry to hear about this man! I think relationships are truly the “hardest yoga.” But the good news is that at least you see this about him now, at your Saturn Return, and you know that in the future you won’t accept this kind of coldness in a partnership.
You told me he has Venus in Scorpio—well, Venus in Scorpio and Venus in hard aspect to Pluto can reflect an ambivalence to fully commit to a relationship. When they do commit to a relationship, they will intensely work at making it the best they can, but the first impulse is often to hide, flee, or escape. This is a hard way to enter your Saturn Return, and this lingering situation with an uncommitted relationship is now brought to a head by your pregnancy.
Try to trust the process of things unfolding as they should. Although the relationship between the Soul and the fetus is ultimately a mystery, have you ever thought that sometimes a Soul chooses the parents, and if there isn’t a Soul agreement all around, it sometimes doesn’t come to fruition? The question is whether you want this Soul to come through you now, with this man, at this time of your life?
I believe the Soul doesn’t actually come into the body until the exact moment of birth, which is why we make the birth time so important in astrology. From ancient times, the Soul’s journey as shown on the birth chart has always been marked by the birth time, day and place. It’s not an accident that that is the moment chosen to create the birth chart….and whether the baby is born early, or by caesarian section it doesn’t matter—the time, day, year and place matter, as this is when the Soul enters in, and the story begins.
Ah….and as for your man, what can I say? People who have strong Pluto/Venus in their birth chart or even in a couples combined chart—well, it can be like a cauldron: so transformative and so threatening at times—there’s a vulnerability and woundedness with this aspect that can cause a recoiling because of the responsibilities involved in committed intimacy. Venus in Scorpio or Venus in hard aspect to Pluto worries about being "taken over” by the perceived power of the other person. So these Venusian Scorpios need both intense closeness at times, and then lots of independent breathing room and space, and not everyone is comfortable with the rhythms of closeness and separateness this seems to call for. It can feel to their partners like they're there one minute and then gone the next.
But this isn't to say that it has to be this way...the high end of this aspect is to be able to go into the fire of the relationship and stand there....to commit to making it better. And many with Venus/Pluto will do this.
And--once committed, a Venus/Pluto person will work at making a true relationship strong and lasting, as long as there is a balance between the intimate intensity and some spacious independent time. This is needed for them in order to ponder and reflect on the transformational process of what's happening. They often feel unworthy of true love and may have never seen it! And so they need to have both closeness and space, and compassion.
This is why Plutonian relationships and people sometimes want to "take flight" away from things when they get to a certain point. The hard news is that some Venus/Pluto people will shy away from real relationships, and I’m sure when you said you were pregnant, it scared him away. Once he has a chance to think it over, he may come back or not…and then you’re left with a big decision about him and your pregnancy. Ahh….no easy answers.