Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Here’s your astrology chart based on the fact that you were born on Oct 29th, 1980 at 4:02 pm EST in Boston, Massachusetts. You have a Scorpio Sun, Cancer Moon, Aries Rising, North Node in Leo, South Node in Aquarius, Saturn in Libra.
But what we’ve been writing about is your first Saturn Return--that transit that happens to everyone sometime between 28-30 years old. It’s slightly different for each person, but like peri-menopause, you feel it coming for a long time before you actually have it. And it usually lasts for about a year “within orb.”
Which is to say, my dear,that you are simply going through a major life passage. So I’m not surprised that you’ve been laid off at work, and that your love life feels like a rocky road at the moment. Saturn likes to create new structures, and so first it deconstructs the old jobs, relationships, ideas about “how it all is”—the status quo—so it can reconstruct towards the end of its cycle—it seeks to bring something new into your life—something that is more true to who you really are.
Many people divorce, have babies, get married, move across country, or quit jobs during Saturn transits. And so, I suspect your job and your old boyfriend might not have been a good “fit” for you. So your "job" now is to not resist this process of change, but to trust the process of life unfolding as it should. Don’t anticipate or assume too much.
Easier said than done, especially when that other astrologer simply went on bemoaning about the cardinal T-square cross between the “malifics” Pluto, Saturn, and Uranus that we’re all experiencing, and then when he looked at your chart and sighed, it must have felt like you were doomed! He was probably remembering the “heroic struggle” of his Saturn Return—and yes, it’s sometimes like a hero’s journey, but he shouldn’t have predicted misery.
Saturn Returns and transits of Saturn are about calculated risk taking: about learning new skills, taking care of personal "unfinished business", working hard at creating new structures in your life. They're never an easy transition time, but knowing that you are going through it helps!
We all have Saturn somewhere in our birth charts—and the Saturn Return is when the planet Saturn transits back through the heavens to exactly the place it was at birth. It generally takes about 29 years to make the full cycle back to where it started from; so the first is around the age of 29 and the second, around 58-60. Knowing just when your Saturn Return will be is easy--it's when it "conjoins/conjuncts" the Saturn in your birth chart---we see it's at 4 degrees Libra for you, so transiting Saturn will be there for you this September. Knowing when you or anyone is having their first or second Saturn Returns gives us a chance to think into possibilities for you--to work with a “cosmic weather forecast.”
So the Saturn Return calls for humility in order to accept help from another—and you’re doing that by being mentored in astrology! It will call for some hard work, and changing a few old stuck parts of your life…not so bad! And you’re doing the Saturn job of discerning who and what you are about and becoming. Sorting the seeds. And bcause I’m just past my Second Saturn Return, it’s just perfect for me to mentor you now.
Saturn in my birth chart is in Leo, which calls me to self-expression but it also hints that there is some karmic blockage there, and so I have to work harder to overcome some creative resistance-- this Second Saturn Return is to remember the high end of Leo--not about pride or being center stage, but to allow myself to feel loved and loving, and to allow the natural flow of joy to come. Leo is actually about having the courage of a generous heart.
Ah…how to explain the "reluctant astrologer"? Not easily, because my dog, 'Snuffy McDuff'--named after my mentor's dog (yes, I had one too!) is crossing his legs and begging for a walk, so I can’t refuse…
I’d just say this about your question—I'm reluctant mainly because I don’t like to know too much. I think astrology is best for finding meaning and fresh possibilities in our lives, and not to scare us or to give us excuses. Every astrologer I know, doesn't like to see challenging aspects in the chart, because we know the full range of how they can get played out--both good and not good. Although astrologers are best as psychic cheerleaders, those of the old school were more like doom and gloom sayers. And many are that way today with 2012. I hope you don't buy into feeling hopeless or disempowered by astrologers who "read 2012" as the end of the world, it's the ending of the age of Pisces and the beginning of the age of Aquarius. And more...later we'll write more in the next letter.
Because we have free will, we have the power to change our lives by making intentions. Of course, then we have to endure the tension of the opposites and paradoxes in our psyche—no one likes to be too influenced by the stars/transits or even “pigeon- holed” in any way. Who knows if a person is going to act on the higher octave of a sign or transit or take the easy way out? I don’t go to psychics, and I hate to see a challenging square or opposing aspect in my chart, because it’s too easy to give into fear. That’s the default pattern—I do see “predictions and transits” that scare me, but my Libra Sun is always trying to see both sides of any question.
Hm.....would you’d like to see my chart? I know most astrologers don't do this with their clients, but I'm not much of one for keeping up a professional persona.
Monday, July 26, 2010
When I made that first call to you before our letters began, I was surprised to hear you're going through a Saturn Return as well! Your Second Saturn Return at 60 years old, and me, at my First Saturn Return at 30! Or did you say you'd just been through it? How is it different from the first one at my age?
I too feel moved by the synchronicity of our connecting, but I don’t understand it.
So I tried dreaming into the “Going to Paris” idea you suggested, but after a couple of hours with my journal I got too depressed, and called a friend who talked me into going to the beach! We packed a picnic, told stories, and took silly photographs. It was the first good day I've had in a long time. It was also the only day I've had off work for a long time.
But then, this morning I got “notice” that my temporary work at Starbucks would be ending. They said I'm just not fast enough and don't appear interested in what I'm doing...well, it's true! More than two coffees and I'm wired, and it feels like everyone's putting on a show I find very boring.... I have to admit I’ve been miserable at this job, but I don’t know how I’m going to afford this! I tend to worry too much, and I don't want to have to go home and live with my parents. Thinking of that makes me feel like a "looser"….and my love life, well, that’s another story. My old boyfriend has basically dropped out of my life.
But I feel so grateful to have you and these letters, especially since I feel alone in a way I never quite felt before.
Please.......pleeze.....write me about these Saturn Returns and what I can expect— what I need to do….when I feel anxious like this I don't sleep and even have trouble eating. So stupid. But what do I need to do? Who do I love? Sometimes I wonder if what I think and do is too selfish or unrealistic....
Did you see the full Moon last night? When I looked at it, I couldn’t help but think that “magic is afoot” and that something is healing in me, even though it feels like it’s all falling apart! I love the paradoxes of my life and of astrology--so full of contradictions and sometimes just 'wishing on a star' helps....
I know you love astrology, so why did you tell me that you think of yourself as a “reluctant astrologer”?
I saw on your website that the Saturn Return is the time when we start to become the true author of our own life story--like becoming our own "authority." And that being disciplined can be like being a "disciple to what you love"---but I don't know what I love and feel I have no authority.
Tell me more about this Saturn Return in your next letter, will you?
Monday, July 19, 2010
You say the prediction is coming true, and I say it is not! You give your power away when you say that, and I don’t care if he is a famous astrologer. We’ll have much to talk about—I want to share with you some secrets of astrology, so that you can really understand yourself and your chart, and so you will never feel tempted by vague fears or inclinations that to procrastinate.
So yes! I’d love to take you on as a client and personal student--to mentor you--through email correspondence. Yes! I would love to do that. I've always loved "letters" and I guess this is the way we do it these days. Emails, journal entries, letters—let’s see where it all takes us.
I’m going to be really honest with you. I want to share with you why I am so often “the reluctant astrologer” and how my work entwines with my life in strange ways—I want you to know that I am
heart-broken that my family-- my husband Alistair, and my daughter, Sophie, are all torn apart by philosophical differences. I’m hoping that what has torn us apart can also bring us back together. I only ask of you that you keep these letters private between us.
I do understand your fear about the "Prediction" coming true--that astrologer should never have said that to you, and good astrologers don't like calling any of it a "prediction." There are probabilities and possibilities, challenges and unconscious motivations—but always, you have choices. I do believe that all the old default patterns of behavior from past lives or childhood are with us like ghosts from the past, but we are not fated, just "inclined." The old esoteric saying is true: fate plus character equals destiny. But the key word here is character, and that’s where it all hangs in the balance. In our choices.
So, before we start, I had a thought: could you spend a day dreaming into your personal story, the mythology of your life, and write some of it down in a journal? Could you dream into what might be? Sometimes I call this: "going to Paris first!" I believe you are STUCK in old stories. You are living a life that is too small for you-- like wearing shoes that are too tight. Your old life is pinching you, and your first task then, is to start dreaming.
I can imagine you spending a day dreaming into possibilities--plan a day curled up with a good book, your favorite journal or your laptop...maybe don't even get out of your pajamas! Treat yourself to some good coffee with scones and marmalade…. maybe play a little “French Café” music or have Bach playing softly in the background...could you do that? Call a friend and ask if she can come over for a glass of wine and perhaps a simple meal later, and share with her all that you've told me—the astrologer’s fearful prediction as well as what comes up for you during the day--could you do that? Untold stories and secrets, and even unspoken hopes, aren't good for your soul.
I know you believe that the prediction is coming true. His fateful prediction! Ugh. It's a liability of this profession to sometimes "see too much" but I wish you hadn't listened to that astrologer--he's the worst kind of fortune teller from "the old school". He sees fate and destiny as the same, and I don't. He missed the most important point--he missed the story "beneath the story" and how the North and South Nodes in the astrological chart contain homeopathic magic. Not fortune telling magick, but the magic to awaken to synchronicities and signs, and to see choices, to endure, and to take risks....
But we will talk...I mean, we will write! And during this time you would be wise to wait, ponder and consider all possibilities and not let your fears cloud your vision. Many fears are born of fatigue. Many predictions come true when we forget the present moment. I believe that now is the time for you to gather your courage and take a risk--that's what those transits and predictions are all about--but first you must rest and dream...
With warm blessings for your week-end in Paris~